​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, no, no, no, no.

 

Simon Hollis Chartered Surveyors is one man, Simon Hollis, a chartered surveyor, sitting at a second-hand desk in the attic room with 1 computer and a new printer which only works half the time, thanks, HP.

 

I have quite a lot of specialist tools and a comfortable Volvo, but there's nothing fancy or groundbreaking to see here.

 

If we meet in person to inspect or investigate something, it's unlikely I’ll be in a suit, more likely work trousers with knee pads and a jumper with holes or cobwebs* – this is not a prim, proper or clean job. I’ll save my good clothes for when I’m sitting with a cold Guinness at the end of another long week.

 

*Obviously, if I need to look smart for a particular reason, for example, an important client meeting, I will wear appropriate clothes!

 

I have one phone with one phone number – 07947 255 270.

 

I have one business email address – surveying@simonhollis.com .

 

*If you are planning to scrape/use this data for marketing, please see below*

 

If you need help with something surveying/building-related, please do contact me:

 

Phone and email are the best ways to contact me. If I am on-site inspecting/with a client/flying the drone, I won't be able to take calls, I’m afraid, so please do email me. I am self-employed, and generally always at work to some extent. If I don’t answer, I’m probably on holiday or doing one of the above things. Please email.

 

When emailing, please include your name, contact number, your present address, the address of the property that you would like some help with, some photos and a description/timeline of the problem.

 

If you need pre-purchase help, please include the Rightmove link to the property for sale.

 

If you need help with specialist investigation following a Homebuyers survey, please send me a copy of the survey with the relevant page numbers in the email.

 

If, for some reason, you don’t want to call or email, the next best method is by WhatsApp.

 

If you text/SMS me or leave a voicemail, these are likely to take longer to get to, I’m afraid.

 

I’m afraid I don’t return missed calls, and there is absolutely no point messaging me via LinkedIn or other social media/networks, etc. If I sound like a miserable old git, blame the relentless spam messages, emails and calls.

 

*If you are planning to scrape my contact details from my website to either sell/licence to other people or try to sell me your products and services, please don’t. I don’t want whatever you’re trying to sell me, and having to deal with you takes me away from my professional, billable work. I do not want to receive your emails, phone calls, voicemails, text messages or WhatsApp messages. It's that simple.

 

If you ignore this request and I have to spend my time dealing with you, you agree to enter into a legal commitment to be bound by the following terms:

 

Client - Insert name of person scraping data

Fee - £125 per hour, minimum fee: £125

Payment terms – 7 days from the issue of the invoice

Scope of Services – dealing with the unsolicited scraping and use of data/contact information from simonhollis.com to the point it is deleted from the client's systems.

Consideration – my data and the professional time taken to deal with the matter

Cancellation – once my data has been taken, there is no cancellation right

 

By taking my data, you agree to be bound by the above Terms.

 

A non-exhaustive things that I do not need:

 

• 3D rendering

• A job for myself

• Access solutions

• Accounting

• Advertising and marketing-related services

• Advertising in your magazine or publication

• Anything AI-related

• Anything data-related

• Architecture-related services

• Asset finance

• Banking

• BIM-related products

• Branding

• Building products – from chimneys to foundations

• Business development

• Business broadband, electricity, gas, phone, water

• Business rates-related matters

• CAD-related products

• Call handling

• Capital

• Careers

• Cars, fuel and related items

• Commercial property

• Companies House-related matters

• Computers

• Confrences

• Copy for my website

• Copiers

• CPD

• Credit cards

• Debt collection

• Dispute resolution

• Drone-related products

• Estimating

• Events

• Finance

• Floor plans

• Golf-related promotional services

• Graphic design

• Insurance

• Investment

• Influencers

• Invoice factoring

• Lead generation in all forms

• Leasing anything

• Legal

• Loans

• Measurement-related services

• Mobile phone

• Modular buildings and temporary structures

• Networking

• IT

• Pannel work

• Photography

• Printers and consumables

• Recruitment

• Referral programs

• Reviews

• SEO and search engine-related

• Social media and networks

• Software (all types)

• Specification-related services

• Staff and staffing

• Survey leads

• Survey portals

• Sustainability

• Telephone answering services

• Training

• Travel

• Utilities

• Plan take-offs

• Public liability insurance

• Printers

• Professional indemnity insurance

• Qualifications

• Quantity surveying

• Waste

• Websites

• Workwear